new day

i've been at peace lately.. no drama's and nothing.. i even went out and tried to reconcile... and it turned out to be nothing.. oh well.... as i'm at peace.. a song by celine dion has really awoken me from a lot of things.... enjoy

hush hush

wow!!!! now i get it.. now i understand why one tiny drop of poison can either kill or paralyze someone... to me the worst is paralyze... not being able to do anything by yourself.. instead having others to do it.. even having other to determine what time you eat, poop, sleep and even watch tv... hahahaha that is worst... not being able to fend for yourself.. having to listen and do what others are making you do... the fact that one tiny drop of poison being put by someone you once loved and loathed after.. the fact that you know that person may have put poison in your drink and yet you still drink it.. no questions ask.. maybe not even thinking twice... hmmm... what does that say about you...

now i get it.. now i know the ploy... now i know what is really going on.. now i understand completely... now i can let go for good... my mistake for trusting people.. my mistake for thinking that you will be mature enough to accept and shut up about it... my mistake for thinking that you can think for yourself... my mistake for hurting those i love... my mistake for thinking that you can change... my mistake for holding on to see that day happen...

now it came... my stupidity not to open my eyes earlier... my stupidity to actually think you have grown up... my stupidity to trust you... my stupidity to not see you are blinded by the ones you love and yet that person you love deeply is shitting you.. my stupidity to think that i really mattered...

this may happen once.. or twice... or maybe more times than i can imagine... this is something that i understand now... this is something that opened up my eyes to see the real person that has been instead those people all this time... at last i get my closure... at last i can finally be free without thinking did i make a mistake.....

i'm sorry to my lovely besties who got hurt in the process... that is all on me and i get it.. i love you guys for being there for me and tolerating through everything...

and for those who are on the other side.. do have a nice life... do have your own mind... do open your eyes... the stories that are kept can ruin all the relationships built for all of you.. but i'm not gonna bitch about it as i did love all of you.. the fact that i still fend for u guys in some cases just shows my stupidity.. hah!! that's on me... dont worry... your secrets are safe... they are kept tight so that i wont remember it at all... this just shows that actually i had enough of the secrecy and lies and backstabbing... the real reasons why i sudden picked a fight will evryone.. at last i am free and i'm surviving the broken heart by friends.... and i will never be wrapped around you fingers like the rest!!!


p/s.... this song is on my mind since hearing it often.. it may say for lots of things...... n plus its a must song in a place i know ;)

beware!!!

in life we can always have lots of friends.. but of course... not too many best friends... my current peeps are of course my darlings KOBAIN, HUNNY, IZZY n RAROS.... btw... does who i did love has been banned from my life... there are always parasites in your life that can make u sad and hurt and of course use you.... i was too stupid and loved them too much to really realized that is happening... maybe it is the hormones talking or what.. i finally found the courage to let these people go.. so that i can live my live.. and whatever it is... i still do love them.. maybe much more to one of them.. but this is something i need to do as i cant take it anymore dramas.. yes maybe i'm the one who likes the drama.. but you are the one who always starts it.... do leave a happy life... and find sm1 else to harass.. and remember this.. its not blackmail... its not the hurt.. but if u both attempt anythg stupid... remember that evrything is in my hands... for now it is locked in a place that no one will penetrate... but dont make me open it and unleashed the phantom inside of me... as i said.. u have nooooooo idea who i really i am.....

p/s: for this.. the song is suitable... but i just loooove this video.. enjoy!!!!

save the dolphins.....

i was browsing through my twitter when sm1 tweet about this video... the brutality of human beings to other life forms is just so pathetic... jut to catch money and richness they are willing to do anythg... i feel sorry for this human beings as they will get what they deserve.. the fact that they brutaly kill all this dolphins while they arestill alive.. how can a human being be like this.. act like this... do they have no heart?? cant they see how these precious beings are feeling... dolphins are supposed to be love and nutured... not killed in a heartless way.... please.. do not support these products... when the buying stops.. the killing will too......

black black heart

life has its up and downs and currently i'm in the downs.... to that person i'm truly sorry and knws that i wreck our friendship...

to the other someone i dont give a shit anymore!!! live ur life and get out from mine!!!!

scandalous

i think this song will say it all!!!!

life is in His hands.......

life is short.... no matter how old we are... whether we are young or old.. we should always appreciate life.. never take it for granted... always love your friends as when you are having problem, those true friends will come and be there for you no matter what...

as for life itself... we can never predict when we will meet Him... it may be tomorrow, it may be in 10 years.. but we have to bear in mind, from Him we came, to Him we shall go...

to my beloved KOBAIN... we will always be here for you no matter what... ur problems are ours... your devastation is also ours... through thick and thin we will be here... you will make it.. your family will make it... time will heal itself.. no matter what you and your family will survive... just remember that Allah s.w.t loves him more.. he is in a better place....

Al-fatihah to Ahmad Ghadafi b. Ahmad Gunter (23rd July 1984 - 21st August 2009)
may Allah bless your soul and put you with those who He loves...
Amin....

a good girl gone bad

as u can read from the title, there was a particular day whereby a girl i knew accidently or maybe conciously turned into a wild child.. i can say that she is a good girl that went bad just for that night and maybe a couple more nights.. why is it we are able to change in just a blink of an eye... one minute your ok n sober.. the next your just the opposite of what you came.. is there a particular reason for these changes... should there be?? should there be a reason why people would want to change other than reasons that they are bored.. bored with the life they have been living with.. bored with the way and habit that has been with taht person all his/her life... is it possible for us to change just because.. no need to have reasons or answer to anyone...

but... that would be impossible... there is always a reason for change.. sometimes it hits u in the head hard.. sometimes it comes creeping slowly... and next thing you know.. you have become this person that you seem to be more comfortable with rather then feeling awkward... you are thinking to yourself ' why am i more comfortable with this weird change rather than of how i was before'....

changes in life does not always mean good... it may be bad but yet the bad thing you have done is actually who you are.. and when you stop doing it.. you feel distannt and lost.... is it our fault that it the changes arrive in us at this stage.. at the age where we are getting to know the real world.. at the age where we need that groundness in our life to stay safe and stay put.. being the person that we should be and not what we want to be...

this is just a story of how changes can make people... do you feel like this or is there another way that you feel...
isnt it always the same for anybody????

enjoy!!!!!!

since a couple of weeks new things have happen... the outbreak of H1N1 till UPM needs to give the students holiday... new found love for my frens.. and as for me... being able to see things in a different light.. a big event just finish and other big events will be coming up... just waiting and energizing myself..

things that makes me see a different light is of course about things that makes people happy.... the fact that my friends who just gotten to know each other for two weeks have been able to declare the love they have for each other is truly something meaningful... as for me.. still waiting for that speacial some one.. maybe i have found him n dont really realize it... maybe i'll find him in 3 years..
bahahaha..
nuff said... here is a song that makes me go OOOOOOOOO..........

the King of POP

micheal jackson is a legend. most of us grew up listening to him, and those who didn't, grew up to love him. the songs that he writes and sings inspired all of us. the King of Pop is gone now, but his soul will live through his music which has been played back to back on HITZ and FLY. MJ will surely be missed by his family, friends and of course his fans. the comeback tour which has been talked about for three m onths remians a plan which can't be used. i do hope that they will do a tribute concert for the late MICHEAL jackson who is in loving memory.

RIP Micheal Jackson. Your soul will live through your songs and of course in our hearts. we love you!!!

THE SONG

the song that has to many memories.... both good and bad.... both happiness and hurtfulness



everytime i hear this song i will shed tears... to many memories of hurtfulness consume this song that when it is suppose to be good memories it just wont come out... no matter how much i hear this song the hurt will always be there

stress relieve

i just came back from a 6 day camp.. it was for my college. the events and ativities during the camp at my college was normal. but then we went to melaka and everything was different. the fact that i life things can happen out of your control and sometimes it may be good and sometimes it may be bad. however the experience was not to good... yes in some events it did help bond people together. but in the same time people did get hurt. the theme song for the camp was bringing to many memories that i thought will never resurface again. however, they did and it was hurting. trying to forget is one thing but having things that is related to it popping out is another problem to deal with. we learned one was to release our stress in a form of listening to a particular music. it also helps to bring the energy back in you.



it helps to deal with unwanted stuff. things can happen but we ourselves will be able to handle it.

friendship

we youngsters have been living with the image life. what people think of us is always what goes through our mind. hence peer pressure. friends are always some one that we need. clearly now we can always find a friend.. but i would like to ask u all... can u really find a true friendship amongst these friends of yours.. sometime the people we know and love from way years back are actually the one that we can always turn to no matter what.. so what if you guys dont hang out everyday or braids each others hair.. a true friendship is at test when the really is a problem. whether it is one sided or u n ur best fren are fighting.. no matter how much u guyys are fighting u will always find each other back as u guys have been through thick n thin n u guys know each other in and out. my friends, look deep in the circle of friendship, and see who is the person u most cherish. that no matter what, u still will have that person whenever something does happen.... for me that true person for me is of course my dearest, lovable and caring friend.... IZZATI AKMAR BAHRI... i love you darling and thanks for being there..